Day 28 – The Cry of the Elder Son




Now the older son had been out in the field and , on his way back, as he neared the house, he heard the sound of music and dancing. He called one of the servants and asked what this might mean. The servant said to him, 'Your brother has returned and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.' He became angry…

(Luke 15:25-28)

"What is happening here in the house? I hate this sound of music and dancing! What for? What are you celebrating? Father, are you having memory loss or what? Didn't you teach us to obey the rules and the laws, to be loyal, to discipline ourselves, and to work hard to earn our livelihood? I have done all those you have taught me to do! But look at this crazy son of yours. Has he ever followed your teaching or your rules? Has he ever subjected himself to your discipline? He never had any respect for rules and laws; he did not work; he slacked off; he has had absolutely no respect for you or anyone; he betrayed you and all of us; he put the whole family to shame by his infamous dissipated life with prostitutes, and he squandered all your property! How can all these be tolerated?

Tell me what this is all about! Now this son of yours comes back to you, and you throw a big party to celebrate?! He deserves punishment, not celebration! Father, are you too old to understand this simple logic? Remember the day when this insane son demanded from you his share of the inheritance? He was out of his mind! It was unthinkable, ridiculous and absolutely insane! Did he respect you as his father, or even as a person? He was basically saying you should hurry up to die, right in your face!

Didn't you remember? I saw all that happening and everything is still fresh in my mind. I can recall every single word that came out of his mouth! How disrespectful! How insensitive he was! And how devastated you were at that moment! You told me that it was like a sword piercing your heart and your soul.

I was there with you and cried with you when all that happened… And even after that day, didn't I see you being miserable every day because of this wayward son of yours? You became lifeless, silent, and so beaten up… It seemed nothing in life interested you anymore. But I was there when you needed me to support you and to soothe your pain. Do you remember?

It is fine you have lost that son. You still have me around! Didn't I tell you to let go? But you have never listened to me. Now that this crazy son comes back, you become so happy that you put up such a feast!

How can you trust this ridiculous person? He is only coming back because he is broke and is in dire need of money! Don't be so naive to trust him. He is a liar! You can't trust him! Let go of him. Shouldn't I be the one, not this liar, who deserves your trust? I really can't stand this! Do you know how I feel, father? Have you lost your mind?

Can you see the real picture? I have been working hard day and night to help build your wealth while he indulged himself in an obscene life and wasted all your hard earned money. I have tended to your call while he disregarded it. I have strived to bring honour to the family while he has put our whole family to shame. I am always here for you while he left you behind in devastation.

But now I realize that even after all these, it is he who has earned your love, not me. Father, where is your mind? Where is your heart? Do you know that I should be the one who deserves all your love, not him? What is my reward? Where is the justice?"


Do you find yourself struggling like the elder son who feels being unappreciated and misunderstood, when you believe that you have done your best?

When facing a person like the father in the parable, who weighs mercy over justice, will you feel mad if justice is not upheld?

Do you find yourself struggling between exercising justice and being merciful?


Dear Abba Father, today, I have found the image of the elder son in me as I tried to put myself in his shoes to understand his mind and feelings. Sometimes I must admit that I cannot comprehend Your logic. There are so many things happening in my life that I cannot explain. I know when You allow those things to happen there must be a reason. But You know, it is really hard for me to get through the internal struggles of trying to sort out what is right amongst the seemingly right. Wisdom is what I ask of You, Lord. I know that I do not see the whole picture. I need to see through Your eyes. O let the evil of my wicked mind come to an end, and put in me a heart of mercy, Lord!

I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen!

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

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