Day 18 – Heroic Return
Cantonese
Mandarin
English
I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers."
The path from repentance to action is a long one often filled with hurdles. For the younger son, going back to reconcile with his father was not easy at all, especially when he had to face the hurt and damages that he had caused his father and the whole family. This guilt-ridden son could have easily chosen to hide from his past. For someone like him, it might seem easier to start a new life elsewhere away from his shameful past. In that case, the reconciliation with his father and his family would never happen, and healing of the wounds both in him and his family may never occur. That would create a huge void in the hearts of all the people involved causing a huge regret to the whole family down the generations. Some of us may be faced with similar situations, to different extents.
To hide is easy, but it is also selfish. To face our past and be accountable for what we have done takes courage. It is a sign of our faith maturity.
First we need to be aware of the extent of the inflictions we have caused and own the responsibility to heal the wounds and mend the damages. We should not try to find excuses for ourselves, or to accuse others for their wrongdoings. We need to only focus on our own sins instead of the sins of others. Mixing them up clouds our conscience in face of our wrongdoings. Then, with a contrite heart and a sincere and humble attitude, it will be easier for us to muster up the courage to acknowledge our mistakes and to reconcile with those we have hurt.
Acknowledging one’s mistakes is one thing, making up for the harm our sins have caused is another. Like the tax collector Zacchaeus whom Jesus met in Jericho (Luke 19:1-10), who made up his damages by repaying all those from whom he had extorted,
we should also be prepared to embrace the consequences of our sins, and the responsibilities of making up for the damages our sins have inflicted on others.
Most importantly, we should learn from this younger son that our sins do not only offend others, but they also offend God in the first place.
So he got up and went back to his father.
REFLECTION
Are you somehow hiding from your shameful past, believing that your sins and wrongdoings will not be forgiven?
Are you brave enough to face and acknowledge your most shameful and hidden sins in front of God?
TODAY'S PRAYER
I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen!
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
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親愛的天父亞爸：我從祢得那裡得到特別的恩寵及力量，更請給我足夠勇氣在祢面前承認自己最可恥和最隱藏的罪過，請賜我勇氣回到祢身邊，與祢修好，並去修補那些破裂的關係。主啊！求祢憐憫我、治癒我。請讓我看見祢的慈顏，令我永遠不會忘記祢的恩德。感謝祢！讚美祢！
天主，阿爸父！求祢使我反省自己的罪過，勇敢地承認自己的過錯，辦修和聖事，與主與人修和，祈求寬恕和作補贖。
It might be pride which makes us fail to see my own weaknesses. I easily see others’ wrongdoings, without noticing muchbof my own. I need God’s grace for the courage to face my dark past, to acknowledge my misdeeds and to repent. Oh, Lord, please help me in mustering my courage for the Sacrament of Penance, to face You and for reconciliating with those I have hurt.
「修和」不但是人面對自己的一種挑戰，也是自我徹底的清理內心的淤泥。今天在反思的第一題：你是否缺乏勇氣面對你曾冒犯或傷害的人？是甚麼使你退縮？提到這一點，確實引發筆者回想起多年前的一次「放下」的體驗。
事由是曾被一位相識多年的好友出賣，令至自己心痛不已，不但未能原諒他，甚至連他的來電也不願聽，這種心理障礙持續了數年，完全放不下。後來得到神師的介紹，閱讀了一本與「寬恕」有關的靈修書籍，在作者的分享中，給了一個極衝擊的提醒：就是寬恕別人，首先懂得寬恕自己。意思是：寬恕自己並不是說自己沒有錯，相反，正要學習面對自己的不足和限制，而不肯寬恕別人，是「驕傲」這魔鬼所用的技倆，令自己走不出自我中心的困局，看不到因破裂的關係而帶來無限的傷痛。雖然經歷多番掙扎，感謝天主，最後讓自己鼓起勇氣，與他和好。
福音中的小兒，相信也曾經過這內心的反覆掙扎，期望父親原諒的同時，又如何面對自己？反問，我們又會否在四旬期內，能鼓起勇氣，到慈悲的天父面前，承認自己的過犯和叛逆，祈求祂的寬恕呢？
轉發第十八天心得：
傷害別人或者被傷害的經驗，不管是否意識到，在一生總會遇到幾回。而自己處理傷害的模式常常是逃避，冷戰。冷戰中也常常感覺自己是受委屈，不被理解的一方，總覺得傷害自己的人不對。即使是自己理虧，也礙於顏面，不願走出第一步。今天在反省中看到，一段關係的破裂，影響的是雙方。不單單是自己在痛苦，煎熬，對方也受到了影響和傷害。只是自己在自憐的同時，沒有去想到別人的苦，別人的感受。很多時候就是缺乏勇氣去做善意的溝通，去瞭解事情的真相。如果傷害是我造成的，那麼就祈求主給我勇氣去道歉，去承擔責任。不管對方接不接受，都謙卑去面對，去修補。如果我真的是受傷的一方，也需要主的恩寵去寬恕，放下。寬恕別人的本身就是放過自己。
全能慈愛的上主，今早正當我輸到極度失落時，轉渴求祢的開解，不久便出現真確的訊息拯救了我的困擾。???♂️
親愛的阿爸父，过去我犯了很多大罪，我不能面對祢。上主，求祢赐我勇气承认一切罪过，决意定改，办一个妥當修和圣事，修補与祢的关系。主啊，求祢憐憫我，治癒我，請讓我看見祢的慈顏，不要再犯罪傷祢的心，亞孟！
I seldom hurt anyone. So, I have no need to hold back.
Jesus, according to St. Faustina Diary, that His mercy is like an ocean – that is nothing to hide from God as He is forgiving and merciful.