During the past ten days, we have been reflecting from various angles on our life’s priorities. We began with Jesus pointing out the “many things” that have kept us occupied and worried, and proceeded to examine the severe damages caused by the “many things” of our generation, mentality behind our habitual accumulation, trouble in making life choices, and our choosing of the master of our life. Then, we learned about a different kind of baggage, or another type of accumulation, that is, emotional baggage and spiritual bondage. Our emotional baggage and spiritual bondage are often resulted from our relationships with others; a phenomenon often neglected by all of us living in the contemporary world. This invisible baggage and bondage, like our endless accumulation of material and immaterial things, can only be shattered by our complete trust in God. In other words, if we hold firm in our belief that we are God’s children, and heirs to God’s kingdom, we will be equipped with the authority that comes from our Lord Jesus Christ, and be able to resist and banish the work of the devil in us; thus releasing ourselves from every baggage and bondage.
However, if we want to obtain lasting freedom, we must begin by changing our habits and lifestyle. We have emphasized in the past two days that we needed to renew our commitment to place at the heart of life our interpersonal relationships, especially those with our family and closest relations. This can guard us against the tactics of the devil, who often lay down his traps among our relationships, to create heavier baggage and stronger bondage.
The devil takes joy in deceiving us by hiding among every little detail of our lives, especially those that appear to be “good” or insignificant.
Therefore, we cannot let our guard down in our interpersonal relationships. One of the keys is our mode of communication and attitude of interacting with others. Interacting with people around us with an inappropriate attitude and mode of communication will have a profound negative impact on our relationships, as well as impose a heavy emotional burden on the individuals involved.
In the conversation between Martha and Jesus, Martha said accusingly, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me” (ref. Luke 10: 38-42).
Martha’s tone is laced with accusations against Mary, and at the same time, pointing a finger at Jesus. Her attitude is clearly judgemental. Doesn’t this bear the mark of the devil’s usual tactic of incitement? From Adam’s accusation of Eve, and Eve, the serpent (ref. Genesis 3:1-13), carrying through generations until the end of the world (ref. Revelation 12:10). This method of communication, characterized by mutual blame, is rooted in our selfishness and defensiveness. When we attempt to justify ourselves through blaming or accusing others, we are guilty of lifting ourselves by degrading others. In more serious situations, the accuser may even attempt to denigrate others in order to inflate his/her reputation.
Though such accusatory behaviours have a wide range of degrees of severity, all of them are manifestations of our self-centredness and negligence of the needs and feelings of others, all of which are reprimanded by Jesus. Let’s not become the accuser by first, learning from our Father’s mercy and compassion that doesn’t judge nor condemn.
Otherwise, we may never be able to get out of the bind even if we invest a lot of time and sweat into our interpersonal relationships; we may actually aggravate the situation!
In the Gospel of Luke, Chapter six, verses thirty-six to thirty-eight, Jesus said,
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back”.
May we let the face of our merciful and gracious Father shine through us in all our interactions and relationships with others.
‘If you judge people, you have no time to love them.’
Reflection
In your past interactions with others, have you ever made accusations against others or faced accusations yourself? How did that end? How did that make you feel?
When you interact with someone who has empathy, how do you feel? Does it strengthen your relationship with that person?
In what areas can you improve your habit and mode of communication with others?
Today’s Prayer
Merciful and gracious Abba Father, I thank you from the bottom of my heart that You have blessed me through different relationships. For this, I praise You and give thanks! You allow all the ups and downs in these relationships so that I may grow and benefit from these experiences! Grant me Your eyes to see my family and friends as You do, a merciful and an empathetic heart like Yours to act kindly towards others. Let me reject my self-centredness; help me to walk in the shoes of others and understand their needs through their eyes. May I become a blessing to others in all my relationships. For this I pray in the Holy Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

「不適當的態度及模式溝通中,造成沉重的精神負擔非常同意。」曾有不好經驗,受到一個冷漠面孔又一言不發的溝通;纏繞著心情跟著負面的影響出現 ,甚至輕生的念頭 ;幸好懂得 祈禱 ,找尋信任的人傾訴,得以解決事情。感謝主,守護天使陪伴指引走出走出陰霾。
「讓我在不同的關係中,成為別人的祝福」
在疫情下,人與人面對面的機會少了,人心惶惶,彼此保留距離。
如果我們能善意溝通,關愛近人,一句提醒,一個問候,一個關心,都可以為他人帶來暖暖的祝福。
願耶穌基督保存我們的信德,增加我們的愛德,聖化我們成為有望德的兄弟姊妹。
「讓我在不同的關係中,成為別人的祝福」這一句都是最觸動我的。🙏🏼
同喜歡的人溝通,容易以同理心為對方設想;同不喜歡的人溝通時,容易批判。主求祢開闊我的心眼,改變與人溝通的習慣和模式,不論喜歡與否,學會欣賞,以天父慈悲的心,將祂給予的祝福,與所有人分享祂的愛和慈悲心,建立神人的密切關係,為復活的主做希望的見證人。
「溝通」確是我們每天生活中不可或缺的模式,無論在工作間,在家庭裏,在團體中,都是離不開的,也是人與人關係建立的基本。然而,從另一層面而言,不少誤會的產生,也是由溝通開始,應該說是「不良的溝通」,歸根究底,原來就是缺乏了用心的聆聽。
誠然,在今天每事講求效率,變化急速的情況下,對細心聆聽他人的說話,似乎是一項極大的挑戰,由於人們缺乏了耐性,因此往往只聽了別人說話的一部份,就以為已掌握了全部,造成了大大小小的誤會,輕則只是爭吵幾句,重則反起面來,甚或變成了仇敵,實在真的可惜!這就是魔鬼潛藏在這些看不見的地方,挑釁我們。
值得時刻提醒自己的,就是學習聆聽,且用心和靜心的聆聽,耶穌與撒瑪黎雅婦人對話的一幕(若4:1-26),正是給我們學習溝通的好例子。
仁愛的基督,
感謝祢沒有放棄我等頑石,
使我可在靈命上得到重生。🙏🙏🙏
善會中的教友之間疏離的関係和互相的批判和競爭,令我對教會很心淡。多年來對人熱忱関愛,總是換來冷漠或背叛,很受傷害。
幸而天主沒有放棄我和家人!求主在這個困難的時期,帶著我們平安跨越!
學習清通是互相接受,包括家人及近人,我求主及聖神給我在感情中,交朋友時得到引導,我相信與趣,愛心及體諒是可改善關係
主耶穌,請使我棄絕自我中心。以批判的目光看身邊的弟兄姊妹,怎能讓心靈的愛抬頭?那有同理心可言?請教我懂得易地而處去了解別人的需要。讓我在不同的关系中,成為別人的祝福!
不適當的態度及模式與身邊的人溝通, 確實是日常做成糾紛的原因之一,也很容易破壞人際關係。能夠做得到隨時隨地都能懷著慈悲心和同理心與人溝通是一個很大的祝福,祈求上主賜給我們力量,讓我們能夠戰勝魔鬼,也能戰勝我們自己的性格上的不足和習慣,努力改善與人的溝通模式,以達至和諧的人際關係。
仁慈的天父
我願意摒棄主觀的判斷和直接的指責,因為我明白那是阻礙溝通和關係建立的致命傷,主,求祢助佑我除去自我中心和自以為是的陋習。因主耶穌基督。亞孟。
Dear Jesus, please bless the relationships amomg my friends and family. Help me not to judge or critize them but love You in each one of thrm.